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Abuse Is Not Your Fault

       If I were to tell you that I fall apart inside every day while I look happy, would you believe me? It was a question that I wanted to ask people who thought I was with a very good man who appeared to have an okay life. I was a victim of child abuse until I moved out of my parents' house at 19. Five boyfriends from age 20 to 45 were all Hell. All of them were abusive, each of them having a different method. Unfortunately, my children paid the price for the choices I made. I had no idea my decisions were being taken from me by the bullies with emotional, verbal, sexual, and physical abuse. In my early 30s, I became educated on generational abuse. The bully I lived with made me believe he was correct on disciplining the children (he was probably a victim too), that I became passive and should've stopped him. I swore I would never hit my kids or say mean things to them as a child. When he was disciplining the children, I had a flight or fright issue stuck on fright.      
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My First House

     In my experience with the Bully, we bought a house together, and he took it from me without a single dime. Should there have been protections for me? Yes. Was anyone willing to help? No. He knew this with the advice of his mother (who he learned to be a narcissist from), who knew I was isolated from family and so exhausted emotionally that I wasn't going to do anything. I tried to call lawyers to ask for advice on the subject and maybe get help, but they all refused. It is all because I never married him. Total BS. I even tried to stay there as long as I could to try to talk him into letting me keep the house, and I would reimburse him for his costs and refinance the house myself because the kids were happy in school, and they made friends there. we only lived there for two years then, so it wouldn't be that hard to switch. He was almost on board with that, but Mommy gave him advice. He even convinced her and others that I didn't put any money in on the house ( I put 7
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Brain Damage Limitations

       After being punched in the head, slapped in the face so hard the opposite ear bled, and countless times my confidence kept getting wasted away, I suddenly realized I was afraid to do the things I used to do before those relationships. I also feel I am in a state of flux with myself being on the defensive about almost anything. While I am in these relationships and during the healing phase (which has lasted years for me), I have made some of the worst decisions of my life with rebound relationships and moving residences. "Why do you stay?" they ask, but they could never understand the whole dynamic of a toxic relationship and how that person can deceive you slowly over time, that you don't see it. For people in love, it can be an easy thing to forgive their transgressions. That's what love is, right?! When a toxic person has wronged their victim and wants forgiveness, they are so overly sly and sweet that "how could you not forgive them"? Over time you
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